They destroyed 2 buildings
We destroyed 2 countries
They killed 3000 civilians
We killed 100,000 civilians
We kicked their asses.
Osama really fucked over his people when he pulled that stunt.
Sunday, September 5, 4:42 pm
Roger Clemens Is Indicted on Perjury Charges – NYTimes.com
A federal grand jury has indicted Roger Clemens on charges of making false statements to Congress about his use of performance-enhancing drugs.
The 19-page indictment charges Clemens with three counts of making false statements and two counts of perjury in connection with his February 2008 testimony before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. According to the United States attorney’s office, Clemens faces a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison and a $1.5 million fine, but under the current sentencing guidelines, a conviction would likely bring 15-21 months.
via Roger Clemens Is Indicted on Perjury Charges – NYTimes.com.
Aimlow Joe is in Disney World this week, but I wanted to take a moment to come to the defense of Roger Clemens.
He ought to hold a press conference with his wife and his girlfriend by his side and his kids in the front row and pound his fist on the pulpit and remind the country that no one, NO ONE has been indicted for driving the world economy into the ground. Not one Wall Street CEO, not the fucktard from Countrywide, not Lloyd Blankfein, NO ONE.
He ought to say fuck you come and get me! I’ll be ready because you have no solid evidence and while you are wasting your time and money coming after me, more and more people are losing their jobs and their homes and their families.
This is a complete waste of time and energy.
And if lying in Congress were a crime every member would be in jail.
Then he ought to whip out his dick and piss on the microphone and say “You want to test me, test this!”
I hope Clemens has the same balls on the witness stand as he had on the pitcher’s mound!
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, Entertainment, economy
Tagged House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, perjury, Roger Clemens
9 Comments
Knowing cultural view of virginity, Chinese women try surgical restoration
China has long been known as the land of fakes — Rolexes, DVDs, handbags and designer clothes.
A growing number of Chinese women — mostly in their 20s and about to get married — are opting for a surgical procedure called “hymen restoration,” which returns the hymen to its condition before it was ruptured, which typically occurs during first sexual contact but can also happen while playing sports or doing other strenuous activities.
via Knowing cultural view of virginity, Chinese women try surgical restoration.
The takeaway from this story is that someone, somewhere is making a living by manufacturing fake hymens.
I’d love to be the fly on the wall 10 years into a shitty marriage when the wife throws up the “Fuck You, I wasn’t a virgin when I married you, I had my hymen reconstructed!” bomb. That would be a great scene. I should be immediately followed by, “and I fucked the UPS guy last week”. And then a quick, “the baby is his!” And finally a “and the twins are the post man’s!”
You have to love the fact that virginity is so prized that there are actually ways to fool a poor sap into believing he is marrying a virgin.
I’d say that back in the day when girls were married at 15 virginity might have mattered, but when a woman waits until she is 30 to get married then being a virgin is a minus, not a plus.
Aimlow Joe does have some advice for people in a relationship. Develop amnesia when your partner asks about your former lovers. Just say you can’t remember. No matter how cool you think your partner is, telling them about that threesome you had back in the day will not go over well.
I know you are proud of that wild scene, but tell your friends, not your lover. They might ask you, but they don’t really want to know. They just won’t understand.
I was going to post a picture with this story, but I just can’t. If you want to puke, do an image search for hymenoplasty. Uggh… I am so sorry I did that.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, economy
Tagged Fake Hymens, Fake Vigins, hymenoplasty, revirgination
5 Comments
J.D. Salinger’s toilet is latest strange item available on eBay | McClatchy
It’s almost as if “The Catcher in the Rye” author J.D. Salinger saw this moment coming in 1953 when he retreated in growing distress about his own fame to small-town New Hampshire and became a notorious recluse. Salinger’s toilet, the ultimate symbol of privacy for a man notorious for defending his, is being auctioned on eBay.A well-known memorabilia and collectibles dealer based in Kernersville, North Carolina, who has stalked Salinger items for years is asking the standard eBay hey-look-at-this-bizarre-thing-I’ve-got price of $1 million but said he’s open to reasonable offers.
via J.D. Salinger’s toilet is latest strange item available on eBay | McClatchy.
This just in from the “This Is A Shitty Thing To Do” Department.
Poor old Jerome really did himself more harm than good by hiding away all those years. If he had come out of his lair every once in a while the cult of J.D. would not have grown as weird as it has.
I am not sure which is worse saving his toilet, selling his toilet or buying his toilet.
I am thinking that James Littlefield, the guy who bought Salinger’s house and saved his toilet is the real creep in this story. He actually had the forethought to save the throne in his first place. What a wackado!
Do you think he pulled out the toilet 50 years ago and saved it for his retirement account? Or did he shit on the same toilet for 50 years and now as he finally remodeled his bathroom he came up with this brilliant idea.
It’s not as if J.D. died on a toilet like Elvis did. He did his business and went on with his life.The guy was in his 90’s when he died. He must have shit on a thousand toilets. What makes this one worth money?
I just took a dump, anyone want to buy my throne? I’ll flush first.
2012 can’t get here soon enough!
Accused ‘Craigslist Killer’ Philip Markoff commits suicide in Boston jail – Local News Updates – MetroDesk – The Boston Globe
Accused “Craigslist Killer” Philip Markoff was found dead at Nashua Street Jail yesterday morning, a plastic bag tied over his head, in an apparent suicide, a law enforcement official briefed on the investigation said today.
Another law-enforcement official said he had been found with a cut artery.
Markoff, 24, was alone in his cell when jail officials discovered his body one day after what would have been the one year anniversary of his wedding.
Markoff would have gone on trial in March, nearly two years after he allegedly killed Julissa Brisman, a 25-year-old New York masseuse who traveled to Boston after placing an advertisement for her services on Craigslist.
“The family of Julissa Brisman is shocked and dismayed by the news of Phillip Markoff’s suicide,” according to a statement released by Djuna Perkins, the family’s Boston-based lawyer. “Their grief for Julissa is as fresh today as the day over a year ago when Markoff took Julissa away from them. The long-awaited criminal prosecution was their only opportunity to confront him, and now he has taken that away as well.”
This just in from the “Thanks For Doing Us A Favor” department.
The US has the highest per capita prison population in the world. Prisons are over crowded and expensive. This dip-shit sociopath did us a huge favor.
Maybe he’ll start a trend. It might be a good idea to hand every prisoner a plastic bag right after they take his belt and shoe laces.
Sure there will be the occasional misuse of the plastic. Some innocent people will be harmed, but by and large society will come out on the winning side.
I know the family of Markoff’s victim was looking forward to the trial, but this way was really for the best. She’s gone, and nothing’s gonna bring her back and now he’s gone too. No fuss no mess.
If only more sociopathic killers would follow his cue the world would be a better place.
I am a peace loving person, but as the Buddha said, life is suffering and anything we can do to lesson the suffering is okay with me.
Some prisoners might not have to ability to suffocate themselves. Perhaps some enterprising inventor could come up with a “transporter” device that would instantly “transport” the convicted and willing to the great beyond.
They could step in to the “Happiness Tube” press a button and be vaporized painlessly, instantly. It would be voluntary, just an option. And if you believe in life after death, it would be a way to get there faster.
It’s 2010 the future, we ought to be thinking in futuristic terms.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, Politics
Tagged Craigslist Killer, Phillip Markoff, Suicide
2 Comments
Jobless millions signal death of the American dream for many | World news | The Observer
Richard Gaines is one of the best-known faces on Camden's Haddon Avenue. It is a rough-and-tumble street, lined with cheap businesses and boarded-up houses, and is prey to drug gangs. Gaines, 50, runs a barbershop, a hair salon and a fitness business. He works hard and is committed to his community. But Haddon Avenue is not an easy place to make a living in the best of times. And these are far from the best of times.
Just how badly the great recession has struck this fragile New Jersey city, which is currently the poorest in America, was recently spelled out to Gaines. In happier times – whatever that might mean for a city as destitute as Camden – local businesses on Haddon Avenue could at least rely on a bit of trade from those who made their money on the street.
via Jobless millions signal death of the American dream for many | World news | The Observer.
You know times are tough when the local drug dealer’s Escalade was repo’d. The first taste isn’t free anymore either. He can’t afford to give samples.
Leave it to a British newspaper to publish an in depth and sensitive article about the struggle of ordinary Americans.
Reading the comments is always more entertaining than the article. There are the usual GOP vs. Democrats posters. As if either party give a shit or knows how to help.
To these people I say, it doesn’t matter who is in charge as long as corporations have the same constitutional rights as people and they are allowed to spend untold money on campaign contributions.
There are the typical “there are lots of jobs in the newspapers why don’t you get one of those” posters.
To these people I say, I hope you never lose your job. You’ll see what it is really like out there. I am not sure why there are so many ads in the papers, but I do know it is near impossible to get a job.
And then there are the America is resistant we’ll get through this someday soon posters.
To these people I say, I sure hope so.
And of course there are the sympathizer commenters.
And to these people I say put your vote where your heart is and work to get a better government.
We are all just one or two paychecks away from falling through the cracks.
The system was designed this way. It is much easier to control a populace if they are living in fear of losing their jobs. Since the end of WWII when the American Empire go started we have gone from a fear of the Soviet Union dropping the bomb, to a fear Radical Muslims dropping a dirty bomb to a fear of economic destitution.
The next fear will be a fear a societal collapse. It makes me long for the old duck and cover drills.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, Politics, economy
Tagged American Empire, CAMDEN, Drug Dealer, Escalade, Great Recession
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Passengers Say Steve Slater, JetBlue Flight Attendant, Started the Fray – WSJ.com
A passenger on the JetBlue fight from which attendant Steven Slater disembarked Monday by activating the emergency chute and sliding down with beers in hand said Mr. Slater, apparently after being hit in the head by a passenger, was the one who instigated the confrontation that led to his now-famous exit.
Marjorie Briskin, a 53-year-old schoolteacher from Pittsburgh, said she was deplaning in John F. Kennedy International Airport around noon Monday when Mr. Slater and a woman walking in front of her got into a heated conversation over the woman’s luggage. She said the passenger, who appeared to be in her 20s, asked Mr. Slater where her bag was stowed.
Ms. Briskin said the seemingly normal conversation turned unexpectedly nasty when Mr. Slater blurted out an expletive to the passenger.
“I didn’t think she was rude in the least,” said Ms. Briskin, who was visiting the city for the first time. “It really blew my mind. It was so inappropriate.”
via Passengers Say Steve Slater, JetBlue Flight Attendant, Started the Fray – WSJ.com.
This just in from the “Enough Already I Fell Asleep Reading This” department.
Holy Fucking Shit! Now passengers are getting into the act? Seriously, shut the fuck up and get on with your life. It’s been 3 or 4 days and I am bored.
Steve better go rob a bank in a cowboy outfit if he wants to entertain me again. Ride in on a horse with a Colt .45 and a Sam Elliot mustache.
Some smarmy passenger getting into the story is old news. Everyone wants their name in the paper. Even Donald Trump has commented. I have a comment for Donald Trump. Fuck off, you societal parasite.
Maybe Steve was a huge prick on the plane. The real story is that people are becoming ruder by the minute and air travel is shitty.
I just saw the video of the chute deploying on from the plane. It’s in black and white and most of it is obstructed from view by a column.
If we get anything out of this it ought to be that all security camera’s are upgraded to color and the views are unobstructed. I hate shitty security camera footage. It is so unsatisfying.
We need to upgrade the infrastructure in this country and since we are so paranoid about security, let’s start with the camera’s. It should provide a few jobs during the recession. Maybe Steve Slater could get one of the jobs. after he robs the bank of course, first things first.
Noticed – In Park Slope, Sidewalk Entrepreneurs Grow Up – NYTimes.com
IT’S an indelible image of summer: lemonade and cookies on a folding table on the sidewalk, a jar crammed with dollars, passers-by smiling politely.
A 40-year-old man selling lemonade.
Whether a sign of recession, regression or both, a handful of adults in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn have gotten into the lemonade-stand business this summer. Add it to the list of childhood pursuits that grown-ups now take seriously, along with cupcakes, T-shirts and the Transformers.
via Noticed – In Park Slope, Sidewalk Entrepreneurs Grow Up – NYTimes.com.
This just in from the “Proof the Economy Is In Shambles Department”
Only in New York can a glass of lemonade cost $4.00 and only in a recession can a 40 year old man sell lemonade on from a stand on the street. Does this remind you of the men selling apples during the Great Depression? The story tries to play this off as a typical Park Slope man doesn’t want to grow up story, but I am sure if this guy could find a decent job he’d rather doing that instead of standing on the street selling drinks at stadium sized prices.
Maybe I am wrong, maybe this guy is a really a man child who refuses to grow up. You can’t really blame him. Being grown up sucks for most adults which is why we have the childish worship of sports hero’s among other childish pursuits.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, economy, unemployment
Tagged Lemonade, Park Slope
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Youth Unemployment Hits Record High – CNBC
Global youth unemployment has hit a record high following the financial crisis and is likely to get worse later this year, the International Labor Organization ILO said Thursday.
The report from the ILO says 81 million out of 630 million 15-24 year olds where unemployed at the end of 2009, some 7.8 million more than at the end of 2007.
Thursday marks the first day of the UN International Youth Year; the ILO warned these trends will have “significant consequences for young people as upcoming cohorts of new entrants join the ranks of the already unemployed.”
The world risks a crisis legacy of a “lost generation” of young people who dropped out of the job market, the organization added in its report.
via Youth Unemployment Hits Record High – CNBC.
You know what the world doesn’t need? Roving packs of unemployed youths looking for trouble.
You know what happens to unemployed young people? They become fodder for extremists.
Take a look at the Middle East and you can see the shape of things to come. There isn’t much work in the countries that produce suicide bombers, other than suicide bomber trainers and you have to know someone to get that job.
It takes a certain kind of damaged person to blow themselves up. Luckily American’s don’t in general bugger and beat their kids into suicide bombing college. Although we do know how to neglect kids enough to turn them into murderous thugs.
You don’t find too many gainfully employed roving packs of murderers. Working people are usually too tired to get together for group crimes.
Biker Gangs have the contract on roving murderous gang activity and the Crips and The Bloods wrote the user manual on inner city group criminal activity.
When you start seeing kids wearing Abercrombie T Shirts and breaking into houses it might be time to get the fuck out of Dodge.
Sure there are always the occasional serial killers who hold down steady jobs. It’s part of their cover. But those guys are going to be with us regardless of the economy.
Can you imagine how high the unemployment rate would be without war? The last thing the government needs is to swell the ranks of the out of work by ending the wars. Luckily the size of the privatized army contractors is increasing as the troop levels decrease. That ought to keep the highly trained killers out of the country.
You don’t want young men highly trained in weapons coming home to no job, it’s bad for business. It’s the untrained killers we’ll have to worry about. We’ve learned to live with a certain amount of them. The prisons are full of amateur killers.
It’ s been a long hot summer and so far we have managed to avoid Greek style riots and French style car burnings. Maybe some kids out in the Inland Empire are tweeting their ideas for a uniquely American contribution to civil unrest.
I’ll try not to look surprised when a groups of kids flash mobs into the downtown of a major city and starts breaking shit.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, economy, unemployment
Tagged flash mobs, Greek Riots, Inland Empire, serial killers, UN International Youth Year, unemployment
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Bushy-Bearded Titi Monkey Discovered
Im suspiciousof the beard. Could be a Al Qaida monkey.
We better invade , just to be sure.
Wait ! Its Bin kadin! We found em!
“Bushy bearded titti monkey”
NowI have a new nickname for Mr johnson
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Steven Slater’s Ex-Wife Questions Intentions of Passengers Who Called Him Rude – George Stephanopoulos’ Bottom Line
Steven Slater’s ex-wife says she finds it “difficult to believe” that the flight attendant was rude to the JetBlue passengers and questioned the motivations of those who said Slater started the altercation before exiting the plane via the emergency chute.
“I would be curious of their intentions if they are at an opportunistic point or what not because Steven is an absolute consummate flight attendant,” Cynthia Susanne told me. “He is a professional, he always has been.”
She was responding to a Wall Street Journal report that quoted passengers who said Slater slammed overhead bins, rolled his eyes and “looked disturbed” on the flight.
This story is the gift that keeps on giving. Steven Slater has an ex-wife? That is classic. Can someone please post the wedding photos? I want to see who was wearing the dress.
If there was ever an argument in favor of gay marriage it is that Steve Slater married a woman. A gay man who wanted to get married so badly that he married a woman. It happens every day and it is no good for anyone except divorce lawyers and comedians.
Suzanne has to go on TV and tell her story of the wedding night. “I came out of the bathroom wearing a negligee and I found Steven wearing my my dress. I didn’t know what to do so I just rolled with it. I’d had a lot of champagne. We had a wild time, but it really hurt to sit down on the flight to Club Med the next day.”
Seriously this stuff writes itself.
Housing crisis reaches full boil in East Point; 62 injured | ajc.com
Thirty thousand people turned out in East Point on Wednesday seeking applications for government-subsidized housing, and their confusion and frustration, combined with the summer heat, led to a chaotic mob scene that left 62 people injured.
At the Tri-Cities Plaza Shopping Center, emergency vehicles passed each other, transporting 20 people to hospitals. Medical and police command posts were set up on scene. East Point police wore riot gear. Officers from four other agencies supported them. Yet no arrests were made.
All of this resulted from people attempting to obtain Section 8 housing applications and, against long odds, later securing vouchers for affordable residences. Some waited in line for two days for the applications.
via Housing crisis reaches full boil in East Point; 62 injured | ajc.com.
They don’t call it HotLanta for nothing. 30,000 standing outside in the broiling August sun hoping to get a application for section 8 housing is about as hot as it gets. Thankfully no one was shot, unfortunately 30,000 people need help paying their rent.
Maybe the stock market got wind of this scene yesterday and finally realized that the recovery never happened. The market took a 250 point dump yesterday and is trending down in pre-market trading.
Section 8 housing is the modern day version of a tent city. If not for section 8 and public housing, we’d have many more people living on the streets. Atlanta and every other city in the country would look like part of India or Brazil. Corrugated tin roof shanties as far as the eye can see. We really are not all that far away from shanty towns. Our shanty towns might turn out to be miles and miles of foreclosed housing tracts in the desert. A step up from Brazil at least until the substandard roofs start caving in.
I can envision an Oklahoma land rush scenario of formerly middle class people racing into housing developments trying to grab a McMansion on a corner lot with a triple car garage and an in the ground pool. I’ll be the guy pushing an F150 full of plastic garbage bags with my stuff in it.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, economy
Tagged Great Recession, HotLanta, McMansion, Section 8, Stock Market Crash
2 Comments
Stock market: Stocks dive sharply after flurry of bad news on global economy – latimes.com
Reporting from New York —
A growing list of bad news about the global economy led stocks to fall sharply Wednesday.
The Dow Jones industrial average dropped 265 points, or 2.5%, to 10,378.83, with most of the decline in share prices coming early in the day.
Overnight, international stock markets fell after the Chinese government announced that growth in retail sales, industrial productivity and new loans slowed in July.
via Stock market: Stocks dive sharply after flurry of bad news on global economy – latimes.com.
This just in from the “Stating The Obvious Department”
Someday in the future, when people finally get the jet packs we were promised 50 years ago and the global population is bursting at the seams, there will be an examination of the time we are living through. Great scholars, who will by this time be living in Space, will shake their heads and express sorrow for our poor long dead souls.
Or…
Someday in the future, when people are again living in caves and foraging for food and the global population is a mere few million people. Great scholars, who by this time are writing on clay tablets, will have long forgotten what the stock market was.
Take you pick…
Either way it doesn’t matter to us. We are walking around in a daze, bouncing from one month to the next like a drunk in a stupor. Great scholars have no clue what is happening or why it is the way it is.
The person on the street is hanging on by a thread trying to figure out where to stash the few dollars they have left. Convert it to gold coins say the doomsdayers. It will always retain it’s value. Don’t be silly say the Pollyanna’s the U.S. has been through this before and will rise again.
The conflicting advice is enough to give us whiplash. I don’t know the way. It is dark outside and I have no flashlight. I can give you my investment advice. Do not buy what I buy. Or short what I buy. Or stick your money in a piggy bank and hope for the best.
Buy some survival food and head for the hills? Or buy some foreclosed properties and flip the for a profit?
The best part of our current economic storm is not knowing what will happen next. Unfortunately that is also the worst part. A double edged sword is what it is.
One thing is certain, the storm is far from over.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, economy, unemployment
Tagged Banksters, depression, Dow Jones Drop, Great Recession, Stock Market Crash
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internet kill switch
THEY CANT KILL THE INTERNET! THEY CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT. Kill the internet. the government dont even know where the internet lives. they r lucky if the light switches work in the white house.
“kill the internet’ ha ha ha ha haaaa
kill switch (shaking my head) thats a hot one
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http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-08-11/u-s-is-bankrupt-and-we-don-t-even-know-commentary-by-laurence-kotlikoff.html
this article talks about the U.S. needing to collect an additional 14% for a few years in order to balance the budget or whatever they call it. What about the whole country full of home owners who will be paying mortgages for the next 30 years. Whats it gonna take to balance their budgets. They got approved for loans , the payment of which equals 1/3 of their income. So thats a deficit of …………………… point is we r broke not just as a country but broke to a man. Ant thats the lucky ones who have a house!
its time to throw the rule book out the window. the Question is whos got something of value and how can we steal it. No genocide , just theft.
Diamond mines ? occupy the country , spend a lil of the money on schools , maby set up a championship level soccer team
oil ? we r already on this one
u get the idea ,
we steal till we pay back all the money we owe, ALL OF IT
by then hopefully we will have some idea how to got ourselves straightened out.
how is this a bad plan?
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JetBlue Attendant Draws Fans – Tirade Accounts Differ – NYTimes.com
So who was that man who slid down the inflatable chute, beer in hand? Was he a folk hero, a real-life Howard Beale who found a way to channel his workaday frustrations? Or was he wrong to have his say on the intercom and then turn an expensive piece of airline equipment into a personal ejection device, probably in violation of federal regulations?
Steven Slater, 38, the JetBlue flight attendant who was the first person off a just-landed plane at Kennedy International Airport on Monday after a dispute with a passenger, has his fans. By midday Tuesday, when he remained in custody after a judge had set bail at $2,500, more than 30,000 Facebook users had indicated that they “liked” a page apparently set up as a tribute.
via JetBlue Attendant Draws Fans – Tirade Accounts Differ – NYTimes.com.
The more I read about this story the better it gets. I am queer for Steven Slater. Like I said yesterday, grabbing a couple of beers and hitting the slide put him over the top. And then hopping into bed with his boyfriend before as the cops were closing in was the coup de grace. It will forever cement him in the Hall Of Fame of happenstance media celebrities.
I haven’t seen him on TV yet but I hope he isn’t a drooling idiot. He ought to be the next judge on American Idol. Not that I watch the show, I’m not that queer, but I heard it is looking for another judge. And as luck would have it Steven Slater is looking for a job.
There were two airplane stories in the news yesterday, one hilariously funny and one tragic, if only for the fact that the wrong Alaskan politician was killed in a crash.
You have to wonder and I am sure we’ll find out in the Lifetime TV movie, how long it took for Steve to decided on his exit. Is it a well traveled fantasy of all flight attendants to picture their final exit by jumping down the escape slide? Was Steve just the first one with the opportunity and motive to pull it off? Or was this a flash of genius an impetuous, momentary lack of reason?
We’ll all be finding out soon enough. This story has more legs than Balloon Boy and Octomom put together. There is the whole family drama background with hints of substance abuse problems which Oprah is going to have a field day. This is just the story we need to make us laugh in the face of economic doom and gloom.
We’ve all flown and we can all attest to the inhumanity that occurs when you are trapped in an aluminum cylinder at 30,000 feet. Usually it is the passenger that goes nuts and they usually get carted off to jail by the Air Marshall’s, never to be heard from again.
Steven Slater there is a TV show waiting for you somewhere. Don’t worry you won’t have to look for it. It will find you.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, Entertainment
Tagged American Idol, Howard Beale, Steven Slater
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Ontario woman faked cancer for cash, Disney trip.
People if you are going to fake cancer for a trip please choose a better destination than Orlando, Florida. I would go to Tahiti or some place where you could not be extridited for prosecution after your dumb ass had been exposed.
Ashley Anne should have said:
“It went wrong, it spread like CANCER, and then it seemed like the whole world knew.”
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid-142167031235
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Flight Attendant at JFK Pulls Emergency Chute, Flies Coop | NBC New York
A flight attendant ran out of patience on a plane that just landed at JFK on Monday afternoon, so he allegedly cursed a blue streak over the p.a. system, grabbed some beers, pulled the emergency chute, slid down and ran from the plane, sources said.
Jet Blue employee Steven Slater, 38, of Belle Harbor, Queens is due to make a first appearance in court today.
He was working on Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh to Kennedy Airport, which landed at around 12 p.m., when he got into a verbal altercation with a passenger, law-enforcement sources said.
via Flight Attendant at JFK Pulls Emergency Chute, Flies Coop | NBC New York.
This just in from the “Take This Job And Shove It” department.
Assholes on a plane was the working title for the seminal bad shit goes down on a plane movie Snakes On A Plane. But the studio execs who also owned shares in United Airlines forced a change.
Assholes on a plane is now standard operating procedure for the traveling public. I’d rather be put in a pneumatic mail tube than take a flight.
Most people talk about their fear of flying in terms of crashing. Crashing would be the easy way out. Flying in and of itself is terrifying. It is an awful experience. It gets worse every day.
The nightmare of flying begins when you buy you ticket and ends with PTSD. In between you are subjected a full body scan, forced to remain calm in the face of claustrophobic conditions, denied basic human rights and forced to pay for basic necessities at prices that make sports arenas look like Costco.
I understand the reaction of this flight attendant. He was probably making $10 an hour and was hovering between a simmer and a boil the entire day.
Getting people to pay attention to him must have been like herding cats. It is hard to be nice to people for a living. There is always going to be someone challenging you to a fight, hoping to get a rise and watch your inner freak come out. Mr. Slater released his inner freak in a very artistic manner.
There are always a few assholes on a plane who don’t think that the rules apply to them. Anytime you get a couple of hundred people together there will be a few assholes in the mix. It’s the law of averages.
Assholes on a plane are part of the overall subhuman experience of flying. Since the airlines cut flights and services after 9/11 each plane is completely packed. An asshole in a packed plane is like a fart on an elevator. It just lingers in the air, suspended around your body waiting to hit you with bad karma. Instead of paying for a checked bag or a meal on a plane, I’d like to the option of paying for an asshole free plane.
The best part of this story is of course Mr. Slater’s amazing escape. Grabbing a few beers and hitting the tarmac has catapulted Steven Slater in to the realm of folk hero. He is now the D. B Cooper of Flight Attendants. His sense style is epic and it will be hard to top.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse
Tagged Costco, Jet Blue, Kennedy Airport, Snakes On A Plane, Steven Slater
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Wyclef Jean – Haiti – President | Pras – Endorsed Opponent | Mediaite
Musician Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti, and the campaign has already drawn criticism from actor and activist Sean Penn.
How could this get stranger? Well Pras, formerly of The Fugees with Wyclef, has come out and endorsed…Wyclef’s rival.
MTV News interviewed Pras following his trip to Haiti to endorse Michel Martelly:
The reality is this, we need a real leader. Not just a regular leader, but a transformative leader. Someone that’s gonna be able to galvanize the Haitians down on the field, the Haitian-Americans…it’s a collective support — to take this country to the 21st century. And I’m just not convinced Wyclef is the one for that.
Fair points. Clearly, Martelly must have a political background as opposed to Wyclef, who, while playing the role of activist sometimes, is a musician. Well – no. Instead, Michel Martelly is better known as “Sweet Micky,” a hugely popular dancehall recording artist, who sometimes incorporates political messages into his songs. Here’s Sweet Micky, a “real leader.”
via Wyclef Jean – Haiti – President | Pras – Endorsed Opponent | Mediaite.
This just in from the “The Whole Country Is A Mess So What That Fuck?” department.
Why the hell do entertainers think that their ability to entertain is transferable to government? The last time I checked rhyming wasn’t on the requirements list for president.
Arnold Schwarzenegger found out the hard way that running a State is hard work. Ronald Reagan started a long slog to the bottom, all the while thinking he was doing God’s work. And of course Fred Grandy and Sonny Bono both did a bang up jobs as congressmen.
It’s just ego of course. Some jackass entertainer thinks they can slide into being a statesman because they think they walk on water. Maybe they can walk on water. Maybe they can turn straw into gold. It’ possible, especially from someone as cool as Wyclef Jean.
The real tragedy for the people of Haiti is that a Hip Hop star is their best hope for president. Haiti’s problems are so ingrained, Jesus couldn’t run the place.
Haiti shares the same island as the Dominican Republic. From the DR we get major league baseball players, from Haiti we get untold human misery. Best of luck Wyclef. If you do turn the place around save me a first round draft pick.
The Fugees are a decent hip hop band, but they aren’t Run DMC or even the Beastie Boys. They didn’t break any ground and Lauren Hill was much better off without them. They made what? One or two albums? Big Deal.
I understand that Wyclef wants to help his homeland. I have an idea, start a foundation. Donate some money, get Bono to lend a hand and do what you do best.
Haiti can not afford to have someone who is learning on the job. Or maybe they can. I doubt Wyclef could do much damage. Haiti is the Humpty Dumpty of countries.
Posted in Aimlow, Collapse, Politics
Tagged President of Haiti, The Fugees, Wyclef Jean
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Nascar Tries to Lure Fans Back to Seats – NYTimes.com
After years of jam-packed races, sky-high television ratings and record merchandise sales, Nascar has seen attendance at nearly every track slip this year as recession-weary fans continue to cut costs.
The Behler family could see that firsthand while sitting atop their old school bus in the infield at Pocono Raceway for last week’s race in Long Pond, Pa. From that perch, they saw empty patches of grass with untrampled dandelions that in years past were covered by other spectators’ cars, campers and trailers.
Fans like the Behlers who are showing up to races are spending less, too.
via Nascar Tries to Lure Fans Back to Seats – NYTimes.com.
This just in from the “I Don’t Get It, I Just Don’t Get It” department.
I simply do not understand the appeal of watching cars drive around a track. Football I get, baseball I get. I understand the appeal of watching most sports. But I can not figure out why anyone would sit in the blinding heat and deafening roar of a NASCAR track.
We all played sports when we were kids, but not many of us played Dukes of Hazard.
I love getting shitfaced all weekend on cans of beer as much as anyone, but I like to do it in a more natural setting. Say a bass boat, a trout stream or a dive bar or a jail cell.
To my mind NASCAR is the biggest waste of time, money and above all energy in the history of the universe. It takes untold amounts of fuel to fuel the NASCAR circuit. How does it pass the Dar… test? As in dar… we should go to the race… dar… umm…na, let’s piss ourselves right here and pass out in the sun.
How someone goes from sitting on their couch to sitting in the stands at a NASCAR race is so far outside of my ability to comprehend that my ears are ringing just thinking about it. I’d rather take a bath in ice water than go to a race.
This article is trying to figure out the reasons behind NASCAR’s attendance drops. I have it all figured out. It is not a mystery it is crystal clear.
The middle class and lower middle class Southern populace and Kid Rock wanna be’s who built their summers around watching races are out of money. Their houses are in foreclosure, and they are scrounging for work. No work, no play. If you can call NASCAR play.
My guess is that most of the fans of NASCAR were tradesmen, builders, roofers, carpenters, the tattooed gentility. Those guys are tapped out. They are having trouble putting gas in their F150’s. They can’t fill a cooler with beer and camp in the infield this summer. They are saving whatever they have for ammo. They want to be ready for the coming collapse.
The NASCAR fall ought to be an early warning sign of the impending Apocalypse.
Posted in Aimlow, Business, Collapse, Entertainment, economy
Tagged Apocalypse, Dukes of Hazard, NASCAR
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