Life Coach July 28, 2010

I’ve decided to put my talents for bullshitting to good use and become a life coach. I don’t feel like leaving the confines of my cell, so I am going to do it over the phone.

If you’d like to take advantage of this service I am offering life coaching for the low introductory price of $10.00 per 1/2 hour conversation.

It’s cheap I know and I might even let the conversation run long if I am having fun. I’ve got nothing to do and rather than get all Tony Robbins on you and make you buy my DVD, I am going the country doctor route.

I am not licensed and have no intention of getting a license. I am merely offering this as a courtesy to my readers. These are tough times and sometimes it helps to get an unbiased opinion. Or have a laugh.

I have counseled many people over the years to turn their lives around. So far very few have taken my advice. Some have taken my advice and actually made a mess of their lives.

Take for instance the guy I told to mellow out and smoke some marijuana. He became a crack addict and I never heard from him again. Hey Jeff, give me a call, I won’t charge you!

Some people have taken my advice years later and have had great success. Like my ex girlfriend who I advised to open her own business. It wasn’t until she dumped me that she found the time to open her shop. She’s doing quite well from what I hear.

I am not a therapist, but I have been to therapy.

Don’t call me and tell me about the time you were 5 and your drunk uncle bad touched you. I can not help you there. That damage is too deep.

But if you feel like you need a bitch session or a bitched at session I am open for business.

Here’s how it works. You click the Pay Pal link over there on the right, cough up ten bucks, email me your phone number and I call you. Unless you live outside of the US. Then we can Skype or some shit like that.

It might help if you send me an email with some background information, but you don’t need to. I’ll just make shit up as I go along anyway.

Don’t get all weird with me though, that is what 900 number are for. Unless you are funny. If you want to be weird, you’d better be funny.

Aimlow Joe is here to help, or to try not hurt any more than is necessary.

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